


One Missed Step

by BlackHunter666



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angstfest, Awkward Conversations, Depression, Leaving Atlantis, M/M, On the job injuries, Simple Lives, minor smut, new start
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 16:16:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7394536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackHunter666/pseuds/BlackHunter666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living in a city as old and complex as Atlantis comes with certain risks. Sometimes those risks aren't noticed until it's already too late and someone has been forced to sacrifice so much because of an oversight in a safety briefing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Work, work, work. That’s all I ever seem to do. Climbing into small hatches and working with the Jumpers, always the same tasks, in different parts of the city. Arguments with Rodney and curses thrown between us. I know he cannot understand me and it makes me feel little better. What point is there to swearing at someone if they do not know to be offended?

~^~%~^~#~^~$~^~#~^~%~^~

Another uncomfortable work area and I know I will pay for it later. All I can do is forge on and deal with the consequences. Anything to avoid another argument with Rodney, they are so tiresome.

Pain! Pain! Pain!

_One missed step and pain is all I know._

_One missed step and the world comes tumbling down._

Merciful darkness at the edges, I see but I will not reach. Life is too precious; I do not wish to go. So many things left to learn, I will not go.

_One missed step and so much changes._

A life forty-three years in the making, all flashing past my eyes. Pain! It is all I know yet I fight. I refuse to give up. Too many people have shown me how to face pain without fear.

_One missed step but I will not go down quietly._

Faces in the encroaching darkness. I know them but yet I do not know them.

_One missed step and everything is blurred._

Words in the deepening shadows. Some I understand and accept but others are frightening to me so I must block them out.

_One missed step and nothing but pain and a feeling of total and complete helplessness._

Merciful darkness enfolding me and taking me down into the depths of my pain, far away from this and into a safety that I have never before known. I have fought too long already, seen so much that I never needed to see. It is time to sleep, to let this tired body slip into the darkness I can feel tugging at me.

_One missed step and there are no more coming._

_One missed step and the world crumbles away._


	2. Chapter 2

Voices in the fading darkness, kind voices and I know them as surely as I know Rodney’s. "Slowly Rádá, there is no need to hurry."

_One missed step but there is still hope._

Those same words again and I refuse to believe. "Concentrate Rádá; prove them wrong." Slowly I open my eyes, blinking in the blurry light and confused images around me. Nothing is clear to me but I know that I am safe; there is nothing to fear now. Someone noticed me and their hands are gentle as they slide my glasses onto my face.  
‘Ye gave us a mighty scare there lad, we thought we would lose you.’ Carson’s voice shakes with strain, as I look around, relaxing into the soft bedding around me.  
‘What happened?’ I ask, seeing the hesitation in their eyes.  
‘You took a bad fall down a narrow chute. You ended up in a scrap yard by the look of things down there. I’m sorry Doc.’ Sheppard replies and he is afraid to speak the truth, I can see it in the way his gaze refuses to meet my own.  
‘Radek, things are going ta have ta change in your life now. Everything has changed for ye lad.’ Carson adds, forcing himself to meet my gaze. Those blue orbs show fear and sorrow but there is more there, more than I could ever hope to truly understand.  
‘I do not understand. Enough with the cryptic answers, tell me straight!’ I demand, one hand clenching into a fist. Rodney is beside me in seconds, wringing his hands as he looks at me.  
‘Okay, I’ll give it to you straight Radek, but you won’t like what I’m going to tell you.’ he warns me. My frustration grows and I know he can see that as he settles in the nearest chair, watching me closely.  
‘When you fell out of the chute, you landed on a pile of discarded metal and other such junk. Your landing was not one that could be called elegant either Radek. It took us hours to find you and when we did, we were too late. Things are never going to be the same without you.’

_One missed step and I can feel my life falling apart._

Rodney swallows nervously before locking gazes with me. His eyes are red, as if he had been crying but that made no sense at all. Why would Rodney McKay be crying? Surely he was not upset that I was here in the infirmary, confused and irritated.  
‘Well, if no one else is going to say it, I will,’ Ronon adds, stepping into sight. I tear my eyes away from Rodney and look at him, standing at the foot of my bed.  
‘Tell me what Ronon? I have had enough of this teasing.’ I snap, glaring at Carson and then Rodney before returning my attention to Ronon.  
‘There’s no easy way to put this, so I’ll just come out with it. When you landed on the scrap heap, you broke your back. I really hate to be the bearer of bad news Doc, but you’re never going to walk again.’ Ronon blurted out, looking extremely uncomfortable.

_One missed step and my life is in tatters._

_One missed step and there will never be another step taken._

I feel numb as I stare at Ronon. He sighs and looks away under the heavy gazes of those gathered around my bed. I cannot find it within me to be angry at him, he always tells it like it is and I accept that.  
‘Ronon, look at me.’ I call softly, lifting one hand off the sheet resting across my broken body. Slowly, he turns back to me but he still will not lift his gaze. He makes his way up the side of the bed, squeezing past McKay to stand at my shoulder.  
‘I am not angry with you Ronon. You are the only person here who had the courage to speak the truth. You have just proven to be the greater friend to me and for that, I thank you.’ I soothe gently, grasping his wrist lightly in my hands. He jumps and looks at me, his eyes searching mine. I smile softly and he returns the smile, but I can still see the tension and worry in his brown eyes. The last thing I see as I ease back to sleep is his smiling face and I know that everything will be all right.

_One missed step, but I will never give up._

_One missed step and you learn who you really can trust._


	3. Chapter 3

Ronon is sleeping in the chair beside my bed, his gun resting in his lap. He looks so peaceful as he sleeps, and even though it is not necessary, I reach over and rest my hand on his arm. His eyes open instantly and he smiles, sitting up fully.  
‘Why are you still here?’ I ask softly, looking at my watch. It is almost five in the morning.  
‘You are my friend Radek and you are injured. I see it as my duty to watch over you and protect you. There’s no point arguing, that’s the way it’s going to be.’ he replied, enfolding my hand with his own. I couldn’t have argued the point, even if I wanted to.

_One missed step but I am never alone._

I return his smile and settle back down, leaving my hand where it was. Ronon nods slowly, bringing his chair closer and settling down. He keeps a grip on my hand, light and gentle, thumb running over my knuckles.  
‘Sleep Radek, I am here and you will never be alone. I will never leave your side.’ his voice is soft and warm in the semi-darkness and I am helpless to resist. My eyes slide closed again and I sleep, Ronon sitting a silent vigil beside me.


	4. Chapter 4

Weeks pass and while some things stay the same, so many things change. It is hard to sit here in the infirmary, separated from everything that matters to me. Watching people walking past on their own tasks, never looking at me. Being ignored is nothing new to me, but this is a whole new kind of being ignored. They do not ignore me because I am smarter or younger than they are; they ignore me because they do not know how to talk to me any longer. They do not know what to do when they see me. I do not know why Carson insists I stay here; he rarely comes to check on me either.

_One missed step and suddenly I am invisible._

Ronon is the only one who still cares; he brings me food and is always there when I just need someone to talk to. He even brought me my laptop but that is of little comfort to me either. He has given up so much for me and still he keeps giving. His entire focus has changed, no longer does he travel off world with Sheppard, McKay and Teyla. Instead, he spends all his time with me, content just to sit and listen to whatever I want to say. It does not matter that he cannot always understand me; all that matters is that he is here for me.

_One missed step and suddenly I no longer have a voice._

I never thought I would miss the arguments with Rodney as much as I do, but there is no denying that certain truth.  
‘Come on Radek, let’s get out of here.’ Ronon suggests, rising from his chair. I turn back to him, smiling slightly. He throws back the covers and eases my pants up my legs before handing me a shirt. This is something new but I find myself no longer caring, I want to get out of here; I am tired of seeing the same things all the time.

As soon as I am dressed, he is there again, sweeping me into his arms, holding me close. He is my rock in a strange new world and I am grateful for his care. Carson says nothing as Ronon carries me out of the infirmary, my arm looped around his neck. This is good, I am out of the infirmary and moving about, even though I am not moving under my own steam.

_One missed step and suddenly I no longer matter to anyone but Ronon._

He carries me through the city and out onto a balcony. We stare out over the water, watching the waves roll in and crash against the city. Here, I am free to dream again, safe in Ronon’s strong arms. Here, there is no pain, no fear and I once again have a voice. People still ignore me but it matters not for I can feel the wind on my face and I can smell the salt air. Here, I can be the man I once was and rejoice that things were not worse. I can still see, still feel and still speak. I am still the man I once was and nothing can take that away from me. Ronon has a way to always be able to make me realise that this is the truth. I am still Radek Zelenka; this is just one more hurdle that I must get over. I am still the man I once was; I simply need to find a way to get back on track.

_One missed step but I am no longer afraid._

We stay there most of the day, watching and relaxing, saying nothing. We do not need words to communicate, we never really did. A smile, a touch, a gesture, is all we need and that is good. Ronon never uttered a word of complaint as we watched the sun set and the stars start to appear. The cool ocean winds start to pick up again and I shiver against Ronon’s chest, snuggling closer. He smiles at me and turns away from the beautiful vista, heading inside again. I do not want to go back to the infirmary, I want to stay outside and enjoy the fresh air. I want to dream and remember better times.

When we enter the transporter, instead of tagging the location nearest to the infirmary, he chooses a location that is amongst the crew quarters. I don’t understand but I will not ask, I want to be surprised. He steps out and keeps walking, and slowly I realise where we are going. He looks down at me and winks before pausing outside a door. I grin and reach out, opening the door. He steps inside and I relax, I am home. He has brought me to the one place that can ground me and connect my past to my future.

Gentle hands set me on the couch and I watch as Ronon busies himself again, grabbing my jacket from the chair and handing it to me before making coffee and grabbing a plate of sandwiches from the table. I can find no reason to complain as he drags the coffee table over and sets everything down, settling on the floor beside me.

_One missed step, does it really matter?_

There is still no need for words as we eat and relax. He looks up at me and smiles and that smile tells me everything I need to know.  
‘What are you thinking about Ronon?’ I ask softly, setting my coffee mug down.  
‘The Daedalus is on its way here as we speak; they are going to take you back to earth. I do not want you to go because I would not be able to go with you. My place is here, beside you, but if you go to earth, we will be separated.’ he replied, turning around so he could look into my eyes.  
‘Normally I would never suggest this, but what if we were not here when the Daedalus arrives? Surely there are other planets where we could hide. Remove our chips and flee, make a new life somewhere else.’ I utter, watching him closely. His eyes light up and I can see that he likes my idea.   
‘There are several planets I know of where we would be safe. Places I went to as a runner. Many of them were uninhabited but more than capable of supporting life. We could go to any one of those or we could find a place amongst a population, live our lives like them and disappear completely.’ Ronon agreed, taking my hand again. As much as I like the idea of living amongst people, I know that Ronon would never be truly happy unless he could hunt and track and be the man he deserves to be.

_One missed step and life changes completely._

I tangle my fingers in his hair and smile, knowing exactly what must be done.  
‘Choose your favourite uninhabited planet. We will make our lives suit us and us alone. We do not need other people telling us how to live our lives, that is our choice alone.’ Ronon was quiet for a while, thinking things over.  
‘We will go to a planet that I used as a retreat point. From what I’ve learned now, it is very like earth. I’ve been there quite a few times and seen much of its beauty. Warm summers and icy winters, deep lakes and vast forests. Dark caves and high mountains, wide plains and cool rivers. It is a beautiful place where game and foraging opportunities are plentiful and there is good ground for crops. We could find a place to live and make ourselves the life we want. If anyone comes looking for us, I know a thousand places to hide. We could not ask for a better place to call home.’ he finally replied and I knew he was right. I was caught up in his description of the place and I knew I wanted to see it for myself.  
‘Then that is where we will go. In one week, after the last people have gone to bed, we will take what we need and leave. I do not wish to go back to earth and be separated from you, so that is where we will go and live out the rest of our lives in happiness and solitude. I can turn my hands to timber carving so we will have things to trade and you can hunt to feed us. Life will be wonderful.’ I agreed, the plans already forming in my mind.  
‘That sounds perfect Radek. There is much to be done. We will pack your things first, it will not take me long to gather everything I need. Ah, to live the free life again, the wind and fresh air every night.’ Ronon agreed, rising to his feet. I settled back on the couch and guided him to where everything was, trusting him completely.

_One missed step but everything will be all right._


	5. Chapter 5

The days blur together as we finalise our plans and organise everything. Ronon hides everything we are taking in a never used storage locker a short walk from the Gateroom. The very last thing we will do before stepping through the gate will be to remove the chips and leave them on the Gateroom floor. They are all that is left of the old us and now we move forward, ready and excited. Our radios will also be left near the gate, along with my laptop. We do not want to go without leaving a final goodbye message so that is where it will be, just waiting to be read. Everything is packed up and ready to go, clothes, bedding and assorted pieces of equipment that might come in handy. Ronon already raided the botany labs and hydroponics stations, gathering seeds and plants to start our crops with. I have a few pieces of Ancient tech with me, along with my toolkit. They are pieces that will help keep us alive and notify us if someone from Atlantis comes to our home. I have also written to my family, letting them know of my choice. My siblings will cry but they will accept my choice and remember the man I used to be.

_One missed step but I do not care_

Finally, our departure night has arrived and no one is any the wiser as to our intentions. We move quickly, setting the plan into motion. Ronon leaves me in the Gateroom and hurries to bring everything through from the storage locker, digging deep and stacking everything off to the opposite side. I don’t flinch as he cuts the chip from my arm and presses a bandage into my other hand. I don’t ask where he got it from as I wrap it securely around the injury while he digs his own chip out and drops it onto the floor beside mine. He dresses the wound as he races for the control room.

The gate comes to life and he returns, tossing our gear through as quickly as he can. I know that everything will be okay but still, I cannot help but worry. He never stops until almost everything is gone. The last two bags are slung around his shoulders as he walks back over to me. I drop my radio onto the laptop, the chips sitting beside it and Ronon mimics my actions before sweeping me up into his strong arms.  
‘Are you ready?’ he asked, moving to the gate.  
‘More than ready, let us go.’ I replied, looping my arms around his neck. He smiled and held me close before stepping through the gate.

_One missed step no longer matters_

~^~%~^~#~^~$~^~#~^~%~^~

My breath catches as I get a look at our new home and I smile, relaxing against Ronon’s chest.  
‘So, do you like it?’ he asked softly, striding down the stairs, strewn with our equipment.  
‘It is magnificent Ronon, you chose well.’ I uttered, looking around slowly. A river flowed to our left as he stood on the wide, grassy plain with a forest in front of us. A mountain range rose to the right, a long way in the distance. Birds flew in abundance over head and animals grazed on the plain in the distance.  
‘I’ll set you in the forest and then start moving our gear. My old hide is a two hour walk into the forest, in a small clearing.’ Ronon added before striding away. I smiled softly and rested my head against his shoulder, just looking around in wonder.

_One missed step but I am fine._

_One missed step and look at the beauty around us._

Ronon set me safely beside a fallen log, always in sight of the path he trod. I felt partially guilty that I wasn’t helping him but every time he passed me, he shot me a look that allayed my fears and I relaxed in the dappled sun, totally at ease with this new way of life. Ronon was like a machine as he walked up and down the track, hauling our gear through to his hide.

When he finally came for me, he was streaked with sweat and panting slightly.  
‘Phew, feels good to be working like this again.’ he commented as he picked me up. I grinned and watched some little animals scurrying through the undergrowth as Ronon walked down the path.  
‘There it is. I know it’s not much, but it’s home.’ he added, breaking into my thoughts. I looked up and smiled as we stepped into the clearing. Up in one of the trees was a hut, walkways linking that hut to several others ringing the clearing. A long rope with a basket on the end hung down from the walkway running around the main hut and this seemed to be Ronon’s goal. He set me in the basket and hurried up the ladder, totally at ease with the heights. Words can never describe the feelings as he reached the top and slowly, smoothly hauled me up to the treetops. As I went up, I thought about a way to make this easier, a way that would enable me to get up and down without Ronon’s help.

When I reached the top, I realised that I wouldn’t need to worry about that. Everything I would possibly need was here, within this one building. A large hammock type thing hung between two branches just near the house and inside was a little kitchen, a table and two chairs, all carved from wood. Our gear was already stacked neatly on the walkway and I let Ronon ease me down on the hammock before he got to work, unpacking and sorting everything out. All of my gear was packed neatly into this hut and he ran two bags across to a large hut across the clearing. I was honoured to see him in his element, back in a place where he was comfortable. The sun was very warm so I shucked my jacket and shirt, tossing them through the window beside the hammock. After a bit of a battle, I also managed to get my shoes and socks off before relaxing back again, swinging lightly in the soft breeze drifting through the trees.

_One missed step and I have found paradise_

Ronon smiled softly at me when he returned, having also removed his shirt and footwear. I returned the smile as I rocked slowly in the breeze, content and relaxed.  
‘Probably should have mentioned this before, but there’s only one hammock. The only other bed here is the winter bed over in that hut there.’ he remarked, leaning against the hut.  
‘That is fine Ronon, we can share.’ I offer, sitting up a little.  
‘Are you sure? I’ve been told I’m as active in my sleep as during the day.’ Ronon asked, smiling slightly.  
‘Ronon, we are alone and I am crippled. I would feel much safer if you were always close, besides, if you were to kick me, I would not feel it.’ I replied with a soft chuckle. Ronon laughed too, a deep baritone sound that resonated through the trees.  
‘Well, there is that. Okay, we’ll share. Both the beds are big enough, I’ve always preferred to have plenty of space in my bed.’ he agreed, walking over and expertly climbing into the hammock beside me. I sighed and snuggled up against him, his arm slipping around my waist. I fell asleep to the soft songs of the birds in the trees and Ronon’s breath in my ear.

_One missed step and I am safe and happy_


	6. Chapter 6

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks to months, I learned how to get around without Ronon. He was always on the move, up with the sun to hunt and work the fields in the clearings around the area and then off on trading expeditions and back late in the day to prepare the evening meal and sleep. Some days he wouldn’t go trading, choosing to stay with me and just talk, relaxed and happy. I had never seen Ronon look so relaxed and it made me glad to see it now. He laughed easily and would often bring back strange trinkets and things from his trading missions. They would be displayed around the house and we would laugh whenever we saw them. Still no one from Atlantis had come looking for us here but that was not a concern for me, I was with Ronon and happy. Together we had built the track system I used to get around and it worked for us.

We had both changed ever since leaving Atlantis but the changes were more evident with me. My arms are much stronger and I have shoulders to rival Rodney’s. There is no place within our home I cannot reach if I try and that includes the ground. We set up a set of counter weights and now I have complete freedom to move about our thriving garden and gather what I need. Ronon is no longer the sole provider, when he is away, I will prepare dinner for him and have everything waiting for his return.

_One missed step but I could not care less_

My uniform has long since fallen to pieces but even that is no great concern because I have Ronon with me. He knew that was going to happen eventually and managed to procure a new set of clothes for me and now whenever I look at myself in the stream that runs through the clearing, I can hardly recognise myself. So much has changed and yet some things are still the same. Some days I miss my old friends but then I remember the way they had acted before we left and I know that I made the right decision. I have become like Ronon, a man of nature, and I am glad. We are one with the trees that form our home; we know where every trail leads and where the game can be found. I have learned the best places to lay snares around the garden beds and I no longer feel sick when working with freshly killed animals. I am a new man, and I will succeed in life here, no matter how hard life gets.

~^~%~^~#~^~$~^~#~^~%~^~

We sit by the fire on the ground that night, Ronon’s arm wrapped securely around my shoulders. We watch the flames leap in the ring of stones and listen to the calls of the night animals. It is quiet and magical at this time of night and I adore this moment more than some others. Ronon’s head jerks up suddenly and I force myself to focus, listening intently. I can hear voices in the darkness, approaching us.  
‘They’ve found us!’ I hiss, looking up at Ronon.  
‘We knew they would eventually. I knew they would come at night, but I would never have passed up this time on the ground.’ he replied, settling back down and adding more wood to the fire. I grabbed the leather cord laying across one knee and turned my attention back to the meat on the spit, turning it slowly. Together, we had come up with hundreds of inventions to make my life easier, this being another one. Setting the fire was easy but I did not like the idea of laying beside the fire to turn the meat so we had built a device to turn the meat for us, converting horizontal motion from the leather cord into circular motion and turning the spit. Ronon had caught two rabbit-analogues on the way home and I was cooking them for his lunch tomorrow.

They emerged from the trees fifteen minutes later and I smiled.  
‘Welcome to our humble home.’ I called, still turning the meat.  
‘Ronon? Radek?’ Sheppard asked, squinting over the fire.  
‘Yeah, we’re both here.’ Ronon remarked, emerging from behind a tree, a load of wood in his hands.  
‘It is good to see you are both well. It has been a long ten months.’ Teyla added with a soft smile.  
‘For you maybe. For us, it has been wonderful and peaceful. Have a seat, I will get you all something to drink.’ I replied, handing the leather strap the Ronon and dragging myself across the grass to a covered hole amongst the roots of a tree. Lifting the cover, I dug out a bottle and three more clay mugs. I tucked everything into the pouch at my back and returned to the fire, settling against a tree and pouring the drinks as our friends sat around the fire.  
‘What were you thinking? Running off like that.’ Rodney demanded, glaring at me. I sighed and rubbed my eyes as Ronon settled behind me, pulling me up to lean against his chest.  
‘I could see that everyone was uncomfortable about the situation. You all ignored me and went on with your daily lives as though I did not exist. Do you have any idea how much it hurt to know that I was no longer part of the expedition team? Have you any idea how hard it was for me to know that you were all going on with your lives while mine was totally destroyed?’ I snapped, snuggling in closer to Ronon.  
‘You left without so much as a goodbye. How could you do that to us? I thought we were friends.’ Teyla added, looking at Ronon.  
‘We are friends Teyla; nothing will change that. I left because Radek needed me and he left because he did not wish to be forced to return to earth. Our hearts beat as one.’ Ronon explained, nuzzling my hair.  
‘Radek, why are you letting him get away with that?’ Rodney asked, eyes going wide.  
‘It means nothing Rodney. Ronon has been away most of the day. He is simply reassuring us both that everything is okay. The cuddles and attention do not mean any thing more.’ I explained patiently.  
‘It is quite late Radek. I’ll finish cooking the leras, you head up to bed. We have an early start tomorrow, I’ll have to go hunting again and your fish traps will need checking.’ Ronon broke in, squeezing my shoulders lightly.  
‘Yes, you are quite right Ronon. Goodnight everyone.’ I agreed softly before Ronon flipped me over and I commando crawled my way across to the ladder.

I could feel Rodney’s eyes on my back as I reached up and grabbed the bottom rung of the ladder and pulled, bringing my other arm around and up as well. I no longer bothered with the basket, unless I had a load of new timber pieces to carve. I had worked hard and now the long ladders up onto the walkways were of little concern to me.

_One missed step and I am a different person_

_One missed step and I am a better person_

I reached the top and dragged my body over the edge, getting onto the low trolley that ran on the tracks. With one mighty heave, I shot out of the station and off along the track and around the clearing, heading for the winter bedroom. I had learned how much power to put down to give myself the power to cross each bridge in one go. There were little stations at each hut. Ronon had strung a rope from the station to the door of the hut and using that, I could haul myself up and inside. Ropes and vines crossed every room of the huts, giving me the greatest freedom to get around ever since the accident.

As I whizzed along a different bridge, so close to my final destination, I could hear Rodney’s voice below me, amazed by everything we had built. I hit the last station and stopped, rolling off and leaning over the edge, looking down at them.  
‘In adversity, one must come up with the best solution possible. There is no way you could improve on what we have built up here.’ I called down before turning and returning to the station. I sat up and grabbed the rope, dragging myself over to the door and inside.

I only paused for a second before grabbing a different rope and crossing the room. This rope angled up as it reached the bed so I could get into bed with little extra effort. Releasing the rope, I settled on the soft mattress and shed my pants, jacket and shirt before snuggling down, flicking the furs over me. The moon was full as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

_One missed step and a new life._

_One missed step no longer matters._


	7. Chapter 7

Ronon awoke me early the next morning. I groaned and looked over my shoulder at him, one hand fumbling for my glasses.  
‘The Atlanteans have gone home but I think we will be seeing them again. They want you back Radek and they are determined to get you back.’ he remarked, throwing open the pelt curtains. I grumbled good naturedly as I sat up and grabbed the rope, hauling myself over to join him.  
‘They can try, but I will not go back.’ I assured him before tightening my grip on the rope and forcing myself up. Ronon grinned as he grabbed a clean pair of pants for me and eased them over my feet. My arms shook with effort as I held myself up on the rope as Ronon eased my trousers up and tied them securely.  
‘Nice and easy, down you come.’ he coaxed, arms out. I relaxed and dropped, Ronon’s arms wrapping around me and holding me close. It was moments like these that I most enjoyed, standing tall and safe against Ronon’s muscled chest. Sure, my feet weren’t on the floor but that did not matter at all.  
‘There is so much to be done Ronon. I must get down to the fish traps.’ I remark, grabbing the rope again.  
‘Yeah, I guess so. Look, when you’ve done that, I want you to get back up here and hide. I‘ve already pulled up the ladders, all except the one nearest to the fish traps, just in case they come back. All our gear has been stored in the canopy, in the little cages we wove.’ Ronon added, gazing out the window. I nodded slowly and eased onto the rope fully, drawing away from him.  
‘Okay, I’ll hide somewhere safe. Go Ronon; I will be all right. Winter is fast approaching and we must gather as much food as possible.’ I agreed before heading for the door, Ronon right behind me.

He stayed right with me until we reached ground level.  
‘Happy hunting.’ I called as he strode off into the forest, waving back at me. I sighed and headed over to the steam, scrambling up onto a wide log that spanned the stream and easing my way along. I hung my pack from the nearest side branch, half in and half out of the water and grabbed the first trap, hauling it towards me. Inside I found three small golden fish, which I released again, but I kept the big grey and green fish in the net, having become quite fond of the taste of its flesh.

~^~%~^~#~^~$~^~#~^~%~^~

I was just about to roll off the ladder when I heard voices below me. Moving as fast as I could, I rolled clear and pulled up the ladder, my hands a blur. I secured it to the decking and dragged myself out of sight behind the hut. Back here was a second ladder and I went on up it, feeling the burning in my shoulders as I scrambled higher than I had ever gone before.

I didn’t stop until I was safely hidden in the canopy, resting in one of the baskets woven from the branches of the tree. These baskets were extremely strong and durable because they were still alive and under almost constant repair. Even now, as I hid from my old friends, I drew in a few more branches and wove them through the rest, stabilising and securing my position. I was grateful for my foresight in setting the fish bag in a different storage net, this was unpleasant enough without that complicating the matter.

I knew that anyone standing on the ground would never be able to see me since these baskets were big enough to hide Ronon easily. I lay face down, watching the group enter the clearing through a carefully hidden viewing square but I was so high up the tree that even if the viewing area wasn’t hidden, no one could see it. From my belt, I drew a small pair of binoculars and gazed down at the group; John, Teyla, Rodney, Carson, Evan, Elizabeth and four marines I did not recognise. They spread out and started searching the area, always walking around our neatly constructed garden beds.   
‘Radek? Ronon? Are ye here?’ Carson called, looking up towards me. I froze, scarcely daring to breathe until he moved away again. They were all calling for us, looking everywhere. I was glad that the entire collection trees in this area had no branches below the ones that supported the walkways, which would make things safer for us.

_One missed step and so I must hide._

_One missed step and I am a different man._


	8. Chapter 8

I was so busy watching the group hunt for us that I didn’t realise Ronon had somehow managed to sneak into the camp. The first indication I had that he was around was when he slipped into the basket I was hanging in.  
‘How did you get up here?’ I asked softly, still watching the group below us.  
‘Their search is focused more on the landward side so I let the current of the stream bring me close. I hid under the bridge when Sheppard appeared. When he walked away, I scrambled out of the river and used the escape tree. From there, I was able to get into the canopy before anyone saw me and make my way across to here via the baskets and storage cages. Now you can see why I hung them the way I did.’ he explained, slinging one arm over my shoulders.

Night fell but instead of leaving, they set up camp under the trees, again avoiding our gardens.  
‘We have to get rid of them.’ I hissed, watching them pitch tents and settle down.  
‘Got it covered. This should shake them up.’ Ronon replied, grabbing something from his hunting pack. I almost fell out of our hiding place when he triggered the thing and a large booming noise ripped across the area and the ground shook violently. They needed no more prompting as they hurriedly grabbed their gear, ripping their tents down in record speed and bolting for the gate as fast as they could.   
‘And don’t come back.’ Ronon growled as the last of them fled the clearing.  
‘What was that?’ I asked, still clinging tightly to the basket.  
‘I picked this up on my trading run yesterday. I planted the four other pieces of the device around the clearing and now, whenever we have unwanted guests, fire this off and they think there’s an earthquake.’ he explained, returning the device to his pack before we wriggled our way out of the basket and headed back down the ladder to the decking level.

He left me to unroll the ladders and get the fish into the smokehouse while he chased the Atlanteans off the planet entirely. One of them had left their pack behind and I dug through it, coming up with a few things but nothing I was particularly interested in. I returned everything to the bag and left it there, planning to tell Ronon when he returned. I tended the gardens, pulling weeds and picking what was ripe and ready. It felt good, knowing that we had avoided the Atlantis patrol and were safe for a while longer. I could feel the wind start to pick up but I refused to let that bother me as I worked on, harvesting more vegetables and safely packing them in the clean pouch resting on my back.

_One missed step and I have found my place._

When Ronon finally returned, he was grinning like crazy.  
‘Sheppard is swearing never to step foot back on this planet, claims its too unstable.’ he adds, settling down beside me.   
‘That is good; I do not wish to leave this place. It is so peaceful here.’ I reply, flipping over onto my back and staring up at him.  
‘It only gets better. Come with me.’ Ronon remarked cryptically as he took my hands and crouched. This was something he had never done. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, letting him take my weight easily. He takes my legs in his hands and we set out, delving deeper into the forest.


	9. Chapter 9

I do not know how long we walked for, Ronon’s hands a constant on my skin. I dozed lightly against his shoulder, totally at ease now that the Atlanteans had gone. Finally, he stopped and set me down. I blinked slowly and adjusted my glasses before looking up at him.  
‘This is the main reason why I love this planet so much.’ he explained before stepping aside. I rolled over and crawled slowly towards the edge of the cliff. The beautiful vista spread out below us as Ronon joined me at the cliff edge, stretching out beside me and cupping his chin in his hand.

Below us was another wide grassy plain, this one edged in low hills. The long grasses danced merrily in the cool breeze, under the harvest moon. Several streams converged on a stunning lake in the middle of the plains, the water rippling softly as water birds slept on the surface. The stunning image stole my breath entirely as we lay there side by side.  
‘Whenever I needed time to heal, I would come here and bathe in that lake. I always felt better afterwards. Sometimes I would dive down to the bottom and explore. Once I found a cave that led to a tunnel. I followed the tunnel and came out into a second cave. It is truly beautiful down there, Radek, carved by water and untouched by people. I ask you now, will you share it with me?’ he asked, rolling onto his side.  
‘Ronon, if you had asked me when I was able-bodied, I would have said yes. As is, I must refuse.’ I replied softly, watching him closely.  
‘I have seen you swim before Radek. I will be right there beside you; the tunnel is wide enough. Please Radek, you do not have anything to fear.’ he implored, capturing my hand and holding it close.  
‘Very well, I will try. As long as you are right there with me, I will try but I make no promises.’ I finally agree, smiling softly.  
‘Thank you Radek, you will not regret this, I promise. Sleep now, I’ve got you.’ Ronon added, sitting up and spinning around, settling down away from the edge of the cliff. I sigh and make my way back to him, yelping when he grabs me and drags me back to lay beside him, snuggled up close. He is warm and safe and I am soon asleep, lulled by his soft snores in my ears.

~^~%~^~#~^~$~^~#~^~%~^~

We wake before the sun and relax together on the cliff top, watching the sunrise over the hills. It is truly magical to watch, still snuggled up tight with Ronon.  
‘The track is rough and rocky, I will carry you again.’ he adds, nuzzling my neck again. I smile and nod, leaning back in his embrace more. He reluctantly breaks away and rises, sweeping me into his arms and walking along the cliff top until he comes to a narrow, winding path. I cling tightly to him as he starts down the path, slipping occasionally on the rocks but I know he will not drop me.

We finally reach the bottom and he sets me down in the soft grass. Here I am in my element and I move swiftly through the long grass, popping up occasionally to check I am still heading in the right direction. He is right beside me always, snaking through the grass too. This may be my element but I am not above sharing as we make our way towards the water.

We stop on the sandy shore and shed our clothes, bundling them onto Ronon’s pack. I had insisted on taking several plastic transport bags and now we make use of them to keep our clothes dry. We long since abandoned footwear, finding the grass soft enough to be comfortable underfoot. Ronon wades into the water first, smiling warmly. I slide in after him, letting the water enfold me, supporting my lower half as I made my way out to Ronon. My once pale skin is now almost as dark and lived in as his and my shoulders and arms propel me powerfully through the water, keeping pace with him easily.

We play in the water for a little while until Ronon finds the place.  
‘Down there Radek. It’s only a short swim. Take a deep breath and down we go.’ he called, slipping under the water. I grinned and sucked in air before following him down, dragging myself through the water. Everything was blurry but Ronon was right there, guiding me into the cave.

The darkness surrounded us as we swam, powering through the water. Every so often, I would feel his hand brush mine as we swam and I relaxed, pushing forward again. Just as my lungs started to burn and demand fresh air, Ronon shoved me up. I nodded to myself and went with his guiding hands, surging forward until I finally broke the surface with a tremendous splash and exhalation. I bobbed in the water for a moment until Ronon emerged, throwing up another gout of water. He took my hand and together we swam to the shore and scrambled out.

The sand here was even softer and I looked around in wonder after Ronon handed me my glasses. Soft light filtered in from different tunnels, giving the whole place an ethereal feeling. It was truly beautiful, the ripples of our entrance sending light dancing across the walls. I have seen so many beautiful things in my time but nothing could ever compare to the stunning sight before me this time. Ronon checked the rest of our gear and nodded before rising and scooping my naked body into his arms. I felt no shame as I wrapped my arms around his body and smiled, inhaling his distinctive scent. He carried me over to a rock shelf and set me down, stretching out beside me.  
‘It truly is amazing down here, thank you for being so insistent.’ I uttered, nuzzling his hand.  
‘It just felt right. As does this.’ he replied, leaning in and kissing me softly. My eyes went wide but I couldn’t bring myself to pull away from him. He was right; this did feel right.

I don’t know how long we lay there kissing and I really don’t care. What really amazed me was the look in Ronon’s eyes when we finally broke apart.  
‘Amazing, truly amazing.’ he uttered, looking down. I followed his gaze, my breath catching in my throat when I saw my cock, standing proud and tall.  
‘I did not think that was possible.’ I whispered, tangling my hands in Ronon’s hair and pulling him back up until we were looking each other in the eye.  
‘If anyone was going to prove that was possible, I’m glad it’s you.’ he replied, drawing me into his arms and kissing me senseless.

~^~%~^~#~^~$~^~#~^~%~^~

Kissing moved onto other things and even though I couldn’t enjoy all the sensations as Ronon went down on me, one look at him and I was gone. I exploded down his throat, every muscle I was aware of relaxing in the afterglow. He just grinned and crawled up along side me, his hard cock prodding my side. I smiled sleepily and took him in hand, stroking him just the way I had liked in the past. His eyes rolled back into his head as his head smacked me on the shoulder but I didn’t care. All the compassion he had shown me had led to this moment and I was happy to have him in my arms. The soft sounds he made were beautiful, my name slipping off his tongue on every breath.

He was stunning in orgasm and his skin seemed to glow. His seed splashed across our entwined bodies and I lifted my hand, licking it off and moaning at the taste. He blinked sleepily as he snuggled down beside me, arms wrapping around me. I smiled and settled down, resting my hands over his and closing my eyes. Sleep was quick to take us this time.


	10. Chapter 10

I shivered when I awoke. Ronon was gone.  
‘Come on in, the water is great.’ he called from behind me. I grinned and rolled over, watching him play in the water.  
‘I would, but I can not safely get off this ledge.’ I replied, chuckling softly. Ronon shrugged and walked over, scooping me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him grab my legs, holding them around his waist. We kissed again as he strode into the water, letting it take my weight. I was totally in love with him and I could see that he loved me just as much every time I looked into his eyes. He released me slowly and I drifted in the water, completely weightless. He stayed close; ready to catch me if I started sinking but that hadn’t happened for quite a while, now that I knew how to balance and adjust the weight I could to balance the dead weight.

Ronon set me back on the rock shelf and left for a while and I trusted him to come back. He had always returned to me before, so why should this time be any different. Sure enough, he returned to the cave with a great splash and swam over to me, climbing up onto the shelf with me. I watched on as he set out a picnic; fresh fish, smoked meat and fresh vegetables and fruits. We ate in silence, listening to the tiny waves lapping against the shoreline. We didn’t need words as we lay there together, feeding each other. Ronon was so attentive, he always knew what I wanted and would pass me those items that were a little bit further away. I had never felt so accepted in all my life and that was a good feeling for me. 

After lunch, we snuggled up together again, Ronon’s hand lightly stroking my chest.  
‘Radek, if you ever get hard again, will you fuck me?’ Ronon asked softly, his lips just brushing my ear.  
‘I could never give you the same thing Ronon you know that. Well, I could but…’ I left the rest of the sentence unfinished, my throat closing up.  
‘I know Radek but I don’t care. I’ve always preferred being bottom. Radek, we have no idea when our time might be coming and I don’t wanna die without knowing that at the very least the offer was there. You are precious to me Radek and I don’t ever want to lose you.’ he added quietly, nuzzling my hair softly. Slowly, I rolled over, his hand guiding my useless legs over.  
‘Oh Ronon. Now you give me the greatest gift of all. If that is truly what you want, I will give it to you as many times as I can. You did it to me once Ronon, try again. You are right; we do not know when death will come for us. You are the most treasured thing to me in the entire galaxy Ronon and I do not wish to lose you either.’ I whispered, snuggling as close as I possibly could. Ronon smiled softly, a single tear slipping down his cheek before he cupped my cheek and kissed me softly.

I slid one hand down his side, taking both our cocks in hand. He moaned softly, thrusting gently as he nipped his way down my neck. He grew hot and heavy in my hand as we kissed and caressed, forgetting about everything else but this moment. His soft voice encouraged my own erection and he tumbled me onto my back, straddling my hips.  
‘Do not hurt yourself Ronon, please.’ I begged, taking his hands in my own.  
‘Hush, do not worry. I came prepared.’ he replied, digging in his pouch again and withdrawing a tube of lube. I grinned and lay back, watching him work. He was beautiful as he slicked my cock, looking up at me with hooded eyes. I reached out and traced my fingers over his shoulder and down his arm, smiling warmly as he rose and positioned himself, sliding down slowly.

No matter how long I live, I will never see anything as beautiful as Ronon in that moment. He threw his head back and moaned loud and long, his hands finding mine and our fingers entwined. He moved with such grace that I felt my throat close again. He was an angel come to life; of that I was certain. Keeping a firm grip on his hand, I brought my hand to his cock, stroking him in time with his movements. Our gazes locked and I knew that everything would be perfect in our lives. He was glorious, chest heaving as he moved. He stilled for a moment before throwing back his head and howling at the top of his voice, his seed spraying over my chest. He didn’t get off though; instead he picked up his rhythm again, working my cock like a pro until I came, every muscle in my body loosening again. He slumped forward, sprawling half across me. Lifting one heavy hand, I stroked his hair, tangling the coarse dreadlocks in my fingers.  
‘I love you Radek.’ he uttered, licking my jaw softly.  
‘I love you too Ronon.’ I reply, kissing his forehead lightly before sleep takes us down again.


	11. Chapter 11

_One missed step and look at all I have._

_One missed step and look at all I am_.

It is dark when I next awaken and Ronon is still tucked up behind me. His breathing is soft and easy, his hand warm and strong on my skin. I nudge him gently and he groans, eyes slowly opening.  
‘I need a wash, would you mind?’ I ask softly, running my hand lightly over his.  
‘Not at all. Give me a sec.’ he replies, sitting up slowly. He stretches for a moment then rises and scoops me up before wading into the water. Because it is dark, he doesn’t set me loose on the water, instead he wades out deep and holds me, washing away the sticky semen on my skin. I rest my head against his chest and relax. The water is warm and it soothes me back into sleep. Ronon shakes me though and climbs out of the water, returning to the shelf. I smile softly and snuggle against him, thinking about what he had said earlier. He kisses me softly, hands tracing over my cheeks before we sleep again.

_One missed step and I have found my nirvana._

_One missed step and I have found my heaven._

_One missed step and now the angels will guide me home._

~^~%~^~#~^~$~^~#~^~%~^~

My body never awoke again but I still live on. We should have known better than to go to the underground lake when we did but what is done is done. Snow fell that night and the lake froze over. Inside the cave though, we were warm and safe. It took us three days to realise we were trapped but by then, we were beyond a care. We made love one last time then went swimming together before curling up on the rock shelf, Ronon’s arm wrapped around my chest as always. The temperature fell below freezing that night and even the rock above us could not protect our frail human bodies. We froze together, our bodies becoming one as the temperature dropped.

Ronon is still here beside me, holding my hand as we rise through the rock that covers our shared grave. We skim through the trees that were once our home for a moment before heading up. We see all those who have gone before us as we rise higher and higher into paradise. With Ronon beside me, we entered the great halls of eternity and set down, greeted warmly by family and friends.

We still watch over Atlantis, laying on a cloud together. We will always watch over Atlantis, just as we will always watch over our friends, wherever they might be.

_One missed step isn’t much in the long run._

_One missed step can never hold you down._

_One missed step doesn’t matter at all._

_One missed step and all I know is endless joy._

_One missed step and look at what you can achieve._


End file.
